Sunday, January 11, 2009

Not for the faint of heart...

I have been known to dabble in nerdery. I know the chain of command from James Tiberius Kirk to Hikuru Sulu. I know what a nerf herder is. I know what "the trouble with tribbles" is. That is why I was surprised when a colleague of mine (Mark P.) introduced me to an horrific piece of Star Wars cannon known as the Star Wars Holiday Special. Aired only once in November 1978, this 2 hour piece of junk marks the exact moment that George Lucas lost his mind.

The story centers around Chewbacca and Han Solo trying to get to Kashyyyk, Chewbacca's home world, to celebrate Life Day (aka Wookie Christmas). In true 70's fashion they turn the special into a variety show... and Bea Arthur, Harvey Korman (in drag) and The Jefferson Starship are featured!!! I am convinced that watching all 2 hours will make one's mind melt. Here is a little taste though...



Critics always seem to point out that there is 1 redeeming quality of this special.. a 9 minute cartoon introducing Boba Fett. Let me tell you I watched this cartoon, it is not worth it... Here is a bit of acting that I bet Harrison Ford wishes he could forget... Actually he was interviewed on Conan a couple years ago and he said he has no memory of making this special... good for him.



If you are so interested... clips of Bea Arthur in the Cantina and Princess Lea singing for like 10 minutes while robbed wookies hold candles can also be viewed on youtube. In the world of nerdery this special is the equivalent of a war crime.. We must never forget.

3 comments:

dwstaple said...

I thought solo was going to make out with a wookie for a little while there.

Rachel and Russell said...

wow, jack you just blew my mind. that is bizarre but wonderful. I always wondered what a wookies home life would be like.

JB said...

From the Star Wars wiki, Star Wars freaks struggle to fit the final scene in the star wars cannon:

In the Holiday Special, the Wookiees of Chewbacca's family depart their Kashyyyk home, walk across a galaxy of stars, and arrive at the Great Temple (note that, although the location is never specified, Leia, C-3PO, and R2-D2 have remained on Yavin 4 throughout the Special). This scene should likely be interpreted as abstract or non-canonical. Alternately, if the scene is a literal, factual occurrence, it is possible that either (a.) technology kin to Hypergates or Infinity Gates are being employed, (b.) the Life Day candles are foci of some bizarre and as-yet uncatalogued Force phenomenon, or (c.) the candles contain hallucinogenic drugs the burning of which cause Wookiees to imagine themselves transported across the Galaxy. The first explanation is unlikely, since such devices would almost certainly be reserved for military applications before holiday celebrations (on the other hand, Magwit's mystifying hoop certainly hasn't fallen into military hands); secondly, the occupation of Kashyyyk would have entailed the destruction of all local Force artifacts per general Imperial policy (but not guaranteed it, as the Wookiees could easily have hidden them). The last explanation seems more plausible, as it explains both the seeming teleportation and Princess Leia's singing. In addition, religio-pharmacological application of natural hallucinogens is common in primitive cultures, though primitive is hardly an apt description of Wookiee society.

Alot of thought is put into justifying the "miracle" that occured in the final scenes of the Holiday special and putting it into official cannon... These guys should talk to young earth creationsists, I am sure they have some good ideas for avoiding the obvious and blindly believing things.